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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Roll on bandwagon! Roll on.

In the tiny little town I was in yesterday there is a sign...not unusual in itself, but what the sign says, is. It's a sheet of plywood, painted white, and big black letters say:




That’s it. No explanation, no good grammar, no fucking nothing. Awesome. I love haters, even the retarded kind. Here’s a guy, who despite living like a billion kilometers from New York City in another country, and after said Bush is out of office, and after his replacement as president has gotten himself the Nobel fucking Peace Prize apparently for continuing the war the Bush did, this guy feels like it’s worthwhile to put up a sign declaring what the Bush done.

Does anyone give a fuck? I say nay nay. However :) it’s awfully hard not to get a huge laugh outta someone like that. Bandwagon jumping bastard. “Hey is that a bandwagon going by? No driver, you say? Not going anywhere in particular, you say? Not even really fucking moving anymore, you say? I’m getting on. That’s settled.”

This is one of the weirdest things about small towns. There are people living in them, in nice homes, who would be crazy-ass homeless wild-bearded maniacs wearing sandwich board signs and wandering the streets if they lived in the city. They’re probably local government, in fact.

I have had the pleasure of attending small town government meetings, and it’s a miracle if there isn’t a fistfight before the minutes of the previous meeting are read. Not that there’s that much positive shite happening at city hall either, but it’s a different kind of crazy. The city hallers seem to understand that if they want to accomplish something, however misguided and corrupt, it takes more than a plywood sign and some shitty grammar. You need underhanded funding and pretentious grammar.

On second thought, maybe the plywood sign bandwagon has room for one more…


  1. I think we should all put up plywood signs. Informative signs, whimsical signs, signs of random shit that makes no sense. Think how fun a drive through town could be!

    "Stop the bombing in Eccles!" you would drive and think, where is Eccles? Are they bombing things there? It could inspire geography lessons.

    Or it could be more political statements like the one you saw: "Other country's leaders are crazy" - this would inspire political conversations discussing the finer, and crazier aspects of world leaders.

    Or how about just complete random statements:

    "Chimpanzees- Scary as shit!!" Amusing, and true!

  2. Orrr, we could start a blog! Imagine!

    And where the fuck is Eccles? Near Dawsons Creek? I'm confused. As usual.